The imagery, action and verbal descriptions of lower body parts and their functions was too base, too repetitive, too nauseating, too shallow and too vile-ugly even for me -- a 67 year-old Italian who has seen and done just about everything. I stopped watching after a half hour. The movie is not funny. It's ugly. -- It brought me so, so very low that I was even tempted to watch Samantha Brown re-runs as an antidote.
The best bullets and grenades movie about the best bullets and grenades first date, ever. Ever!
If you're mentally sick: you might like this movie. If you find the shower scene in Hitchcock's "Psycho" both sexy and romantic: you might like this movie. If you are excited by the emotional level of a door knob: you might like the lead actress -- but, of course door knobs are not mean and vindictive. -- Oh, I can go on and on. But, simple said, there is no beauty in The Piano, only ugliness.
Cassablanca: Probably the best movie ever made.
You'll never know where this unpredictable story is taking you -- but it'll always take you to fun. Of the two selections on this disk (Theatrical and Unrated) I chose the unrated version and was glad I did.