It's the You Get What You Pay For Edition

Greetings and welcome to the You Get What You Pay For Edition of You are What You Read.

This Wednesday’s Full Moon was the Full Flower Moon which actually and finally makes some sense. All sorts of stuff is blooming and the pollen is everywhere! The Farmer’s Almanac wants us to know that it is now safe to bear some young if that’s of interest to you all. Go forth!

Sunday we have Mother’s Day. Here’s hoping that you have secured what is necessary to fete the mothers in your world. Make it count People. These are Mothers we are talking about.

Those who know me know about my obsession with real estate. I have a serious love/hate relationship with the Homes section of the New York Times. And the show Million Dollar Listing? Best ever, though I am partial to the New York franchise. Too much time spent looking at the Infinity pools on the LA show. So when this real estate listing was brought to my attention (thanks Amazing Amanda) I just had to share it with you all. For 130K there is a little house at 709 Michaelmas Street in Cayce, South Carolina, that has 4 bedrooms and 3 baths. So what Jen? This seems normal, right? Nope. Nothing normal going on here People.

This house has “rules” for those who show it and I am not talking about not letting Fluffy the Declawed Cat out or watching out for the Snarling Shepherd. Nope. The rule for showings is:

“Upstairs apartment cannot be shown under any circumstances. Buyer assumes responsibility for the month-to-month tenancy in the upstairs apartment. Occupant has never paid, and no security deposit is being held, but there is a lease in place. Yes, it does not make sense, please don’t bother asking.)”

Yes. There is a tenant who lives upstairs who you are not allowed to see. It is a house with its very own built-in Crazy/Serial Killer/Ghost in the Attic. I mean most people have a list of must-haves. I want a fireplace; I want a fenced yard; I want a washer-dryer on the second floor; I want a great school system for my kids.

I want a terrifying presence that lives in my attic THAT I AM NOT ALLOWED TO SEE is not something one normally hears outside of some sort of demented horror film premise. And you have to feel for the Real Estate Agent. For starters when you look at the listing (and I have no doubt that you all will) it is very evident this is more than a fixer upper. This, People, is some sort of Clown Murder Nightmare House. The door looks as if someone was either trying to break in or escape with some weird reddish marks on the jamb. Do not get me started on the eerie stains on the hardwood floors. Know what stains like that? Yup. Blood. Blood stains like that.

So if you have a teenage daughter who is a camp counselor and likes to wear a bikini I would have some serious reservations about choosing this as your Forever Home. As for the rest of you? Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

This week we have some Bangalore, some Austen, Israel, some nostalgia, and prison.

I am sorry to report that while Mercury is no longer in retrograde, we still don’t have The Playlist. DJ Jazzy Patty McC is having a bit of a time of it right now and it would be lovely if we sent her some happy thoughts, well wishes and positivity. She’ll be back when she’s able.

Let us begin!

Barbara M is taking suggestions this week. “Thanks to one of our favorite patrons, I am reading _Ghachar Gochar _ by Vivek Shanbhag. It is a short beautifully written novel about a poor family in Bangalore India who become wealthy and how it changes their lives and relationships with the world around them.This is an interesting and thoroughly engaging book.”

The Amazing Amanda is late to the Darcy party, but is finally joining the Austen fans. "I tried to listen to Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen seven years ago. However, I found that driving in a busy city made it impossible to listen to on my commute. So now I've dived back in and am being introduced to Mr. Collins. It's hard to separate the filmed versions from my mind. You likely know the story already. What you may not be aware of is how much time is spent in Mr. Darcy's head. He actually finds himself in danger of loving Elizabeth from the start. As for her she doesn't care about his opinion at all! It's quite the opposite of what I kind of had picked up from pop culture. So far it's Darcy who is feeling so full of affection. Anyways, if you've been putting it off, I highly recommending scooping it up and finding the delight of Austen for yourself."

Sweet Ann has just finished Waking Lions by Ayelet Gundar-Goshen. “This novel is the fast paced story of Eitan Green, an Israeli neurosurgeon. He is married to the only female detective in their town and they have two much loved young sons. He is proud of himself in that he always does the right thing and expects the same from others. His view changes one night when he accidentally runs a man over as he is speeding in his SUV. When he does get out of his car to check on the victim, Eitan decides that since the man is probably an undocumented minority in the area no one will miss him. He leaves the man to die and drives home as if nothing happened. His SUV miraculously is not damaged in the accident. The next morning as Eitan leaves for work, the man's widow is waiting outside for him, holding his wallet which he dropped when he got out of his car to check on the victim. This begins a partnership between the two that will have many consequences for all involved. I found this novel to be a satisfying, well written page turner.”

Kaitlin from the Rock is here which is always a good thing! “Ahoy! I just finished reading Ready Player One, by Ernest Cline. I loooooved this YA book! I've read some really amazing books in the last few years, but this was the first book in a very long time that I found myself eager and excited to read every day. It's probably not for everyone, it's the story of Wade, living in a future in which basically everyone lives through a virtual reality. Kids go to school, adults go to work, and lives are essentially lived out entirely in the online world of OASIS, created by the late James Halliday. Before he died, Halliday created a scavenger hunt through the virtual reality of OASIS, with a huge fortune promised for the winner. After years of searching, Wade and his new friends begin to unravel Halliday's mystery. This book is perfect for anyone who is nostalgic for the 80's, in particular 80's video games--any book that references ColecoVision AND John Hughes' movies is a must-read in my book! Fans of the podcast Rabbits would love it too!”

The Always Fabulous Babs B has just finished The Widow of Wall Street by Randy Susan Meyer. Here’s what she thought. “This is a compelling fictionalization of the Bernie Madoff scandal and if you enjoy dark fiction about family relationships and deception, then this book is for you! The story opens in 2009 with a visit to the Ray Brook Federal Correctional Institution where Phoebe Pierce's husband Jake is imprisoned on fraud charges following the discovery of the elaborate Ponzi scheme upon which he built their fortune. The novel follows Phoebe from the beginning of her relationship with Jake when she was 17 through the present day. My heart ached for Phoebe because I truly believe she was not involved in her husband's wrong doing but was just a woman who loved her husband, and their life together and didn't ask any questions.”

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