We're closing at 5 p.m.on Friday. The Friday Night Feature will return next week.

It's the New Bit of Terror Unleashed Edition

Greetings and welcome to the New Bit of Terror Unleashed Edition of You Are What You Read.

Firstly, we have the first wager for Tights Watch 2018. In an ironic twist, it comes from Monique O (real name) the mother of Teen Wrangler Mia O. She has selected October 31st for our drop dead date.

But Jen, you all say, what’s the irony in that?

Well People, her very own daughter, Mia the Teen Wrangler, is who I was referencing when I said someone on staff has already broken out the boots. Not only that, Mia the TW confessed to me earlier this week that not only is she now Team Boot, she will be sporting tights going forward. Sorry Monique, but your very own daughter is trying to break your bracket. You may want to remember that come the Hellidays. Just sayin’.

For myself, I have remained steadfast in my quest to remain bare legged until I simply can’t do it anymore. Stay strong People! Let’s hope Monique O is in it to win it!

Philadelphia. The city that has brought us the Liberty Bell, the concept of Brotherly Love, and Cheese Steaks has also brought us Naked Biking, Dumpster Pools, and the need to grease light poles during championship playoffs is now going to be responsible for many a sleepless night.

People, meet Gritty, the mascot of the Philadelphia Flyers and the most nightmare inducing thing I have seen in a very long time.

He looks to me like a giant, orange, deranged over-caffeinated Muppet from Hell. And even weirder? For his first turn on the ice he fell. Which, to my mind, seems like an odd premier for a mascot that is representing an ice hockey team? Shouldn’t the audition have included strapping on the CCMs and taking a turn around the rink? There seems to be a love/hate thing going on with the appropriately named Gritty. Some fans are embracing and other are saying things like, “If he touches me I am throwing a beer on him.”

Seems about right considering that this is Philly we're talking about and frankly I think that they are always kind of spoiling for some bad behavior.

Granted, mascots are weird. I worship at the feet of a poisonous nut wearing a too small baseball hat and a shirt that even Steve from Blue’s Clues would reject in a nano second (Go Bucks! Beat Penn State!). But I think the only people that Brutus has bestowed nightmares on are people from Meat Chicken (2498 nightmarish nights to be clear).

Want more Gritty? Because who doesn’t? You can read about it on SBNation. Thanks to Mia O Teen Wrangler/Bracket Breaker and Karyn A for bringing this to my attention.

Philly. Always a fascination.

People! Attention! No edition of You are What You Read for the next two weeks. I am meeting the Traveling Companion in Paris (!) next week and will be gone for a while. If you see us skittering down the Champs-Elysees say Bonjour s’il vous plais!

This week we have some reluctance, summer camp, water, and more water. Thirsty?

Let us begin!

Miss Elisabeth of the CL is popping in this week with a little something fun! “Last week I read and loved A Duke by Default by Alyssa Cole. This is the second book in the author's 'Reluctant Royals' series. It follows Portia Hobbs, the socialite 'hot mess' best friend of the first book's heroine, as she takes an internship in Scotland in an attempt to reinvent her reputation. Portia has given up alcohol and men and is dedicating herself to being the person her sister and best friend believe her to be -- warm, caring, conscientious, and smart. Unfortunately for Portia, the internship is also an apprenticeship in sword making with one Tavish McKenzie. Tav is the kind of gruff-on-the-outside, marshmallow-on-the-inside, perfect Scottish man one suspects is found only in the pages of romantic literature. Sparks fly, but not much else, as Tav is determined not to be 'that boss' and Portia is sticking to her 'no men' plan. Then it turns out that in addition to being a hunky sword maker, Tav is also the secret, illegitimate son of a Duke who died without an heir. Suddenly possessed of a huge fortune and thrust into the highest social circles on the planet, Portia is the only person Tav trusts to guide him through his crazy new world. This book is SO GOOD. Our own dear Stephanie Anderson said it was the best romance novel she's read in years. It's funny and charming, and it has a lot of say about privilege, both monetary and racial. The romance is sizzling, the heroine is one to root for, the book is a winner. :)”

Hello Kaitlin from the Rock! “Hello!! I have TWO books to recommend this week! First, I just finished up The Hearts of Men, by Nickolas Butler. This is a fantastic story that covers a couple different generations, starting in the 1960's. Nelson is an outcast at Camp Chippewa, where he does his best to be perfect, but is bullied incessantly. Only Jonathan, a fellow camper, seems to take any pity on him. The story follows the men as they grow older, Nelson going off to Vietnam and eventually becoming the Scoutmaster of Camp Chippewa. Flashforward to today, when Jonathan's daughter-in-law and grandson head to the camp, only to have a life-changing event occur. This is a really wonderful story that questions friendship, bravery, and morality.

I also listened to the e-audio book of The Woman in Cabin 10, by Ruth Ware. I'm a big fan of Ruth Ware, and I think this was her best book yet. The story unfolds like an Agatha Christie novel: Lo Blacklock, a budding travel journalist, is invited to go on a private preview voyage of the Aurora, a very elite cruise ship. She is accompanied only by a few other travel writers, photographers, and potential investors. One night, Lo thinks she might be the witness to a ghastly murder. Or was she...? I had so much fun listening to this book!”

Pat T is listening as she does and here is what she heard. “I just finished listening to Something in the Water, by Catherine Steadman and the English narrators really made this twisty and suspenseful novel appealing! While scuba diving on their honeymooning in Bora Bora, Erin and Mark, discover a bag floating in the water. Retrieving the bag from the water will set the trajectory of their married life on a course quite different from their lives as a documentary film maker and investment banker. The plot of this novel makes the reader wonder, ‘What would you do if you found yourself in a similar situation?’”

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